canstockphoto13816906Transformation and transmutation are necessary if we are to move forward and function as a different species. If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, you may have shut yourself off many times and you may not even notice the emotional pain you are now putting yourself through.  And because of all the issues that have been pushed down and shut off, you attract those situations into your life to help you resolve them now. Energy will not be repressed; it must express itself and it does this by projecting onto the nearest person who can mirror it back to you, which is usually your partner. It can also happen with your business associates, friends and children. In other words, your shadow side projects itself onto a person who will mirror it back to you to make you look at those issues that you have repressed. Of course you’ll hate this process—everyone does until they realize exactly what is going on.

Sometimes when you know you should take a leap forward in your life…and you won’t…or you can’t, a higher source will step in and take over. And you will complain that fate has dished up this or that unpleasant experience for you, and you will ask “Why me?” or “Why are you doing this to me?”

If you haven’t achieved a relative degree of self-mastery or refuse to look at those things that are presented to you, either through the opportunities or coincidences in your life, fate will step in and be your teacher. No one is allowed to stagnate for too long.

Maybe you’re in a job that is not suiting your higher purpose, and you know you should be looking elsewhere; but it’s comfortable, the pay is good, so you stay…until one day the boss calls you in and tells you that you’re fired. Or, you’re in a relationship that’s just not working, but you stay because it’s convenient, until one day your partner tells you they’ve found somebody else. Fate steps in and forces you to take the next step forward to help you change because you can’t do it yourself. Fate can also allow a serious illness to shake you up. That really makes you take stock of your life and you are forced to change and then its scary because you have to confront issues that you’ve pushed down deep into your sub-conscious mind; you’ve ignored all the opportunities that have been placed in front of you to help you…and now you’re being forced to look.  How many times have you heard of people overcoming a serious illness and then taking up something or doing something that they never would have done if they hadn’t got sick?

We don’t like change. We like to sit with our habit patterns, it feels comfortable but it also leads to stagnation. The only thing permanent in this universe is change. The purpose of negative experiences is to disturb, disrupt and to destroy so change can promote further growth. Think about the renovation of an old building for a moment. Wallpaper is ripped off, the insides are pulled out etc. Everything is replaced until not much of the old is recognized. But look at the new structure, it looks fabulous. And so, it is the same with us. We don’t like the process of transmutation, the changes hurt, but they are sometimes necessary to allow us to get to the next level, and those beings that oversee humanity assist as much as they are able without taking the necessary lessons away. When I look back on my life, I find that the times of greatest personal growth happened through the periods of greatest crisis.


Variety is the Spice of Life

Spain (176)There is nothing quite like giving your partner a surprise. If you regularly eat out of a Saturday evening, and your partner is expecting to go to the usual restaurant, why not plan a surprise visit to somewhere else instead, somewhere that you know your partner will immensely enjoy; remember variety is the spice of life! Perhaps your mate loves a certain concert artist. Why not purchase the best tickets available when you know the artist will be performing in your city? When your usual restaurant evening comes up, offer to drive instead to give your partner a break. Of course when you head off in the wrong direction, your mate will want to know what’s going on. Simply answer that you have arranged a special surprise. The very fact that you arranged something they like will really touch them and allow you to bond even closer especially if there has been some distancing in the relationship.

Always remain positive and remember that you can’t change your partner, but…your partner will change and respond differently as you are able to change. There is an old adage that says: “Whatever you are prepared to give, you will receive tenfold.” So be prepared to break the emotional chains that bind you, to free you to experience your highest good; and as you learn to give more of yourself, you will find yourself receiving more, much, much more.

If you feel you can’t express your true feelings and aspirations for fear of upsetting other people, and hold everything inside you, your dreams won’t materialize. Here, you will learn some tips on how to shift the unconscious elements that are holding you back. There is a name for this kind of activity today, it’s called personal growth and transformation. I hope these small hints and tips assist you on your journey through personal growth to your own transformation if you are indeed in a difficult relationship.