Life Choices

Meta Relationship ProgramYour life choices are based on your psychological conditioning or what is commonly called your emotional programming. Do you want to know how it adds up? Your life experiences + your choices + your desires + your decisions = your emotional programming. It is important to understand that about 80% of emotional programming normally happens before you are eight years old, and that it is the basis of how you react today.

You can’t change your past, but if you begin to understand why you react today, and not respond, you can break the chains that bind you, and understand more about yourself, and why you interact the way you do with your partner Now, I’d like to help you understand your own emotional programming and life choices and how to respond differently.

You attract the partner into your life who can assist you best with your life lessons, and help you overcome your emotional programming, and bring your shadow side or sub-personalities into the light.

This emotional programming affects how you think and behave as an adult Your life experiences, especially those before you were eight years old, cause you to make certain subconscious decisions about yourself and others, and these decisions in turn, cause you to make certain choices as an adult.

All these choices and the way you behave, is called your emotional baggage or your emotional programming. It is this subconscious emotional baggage or programming that you bring with you into your relationships and this is what is responsible for much of the pain or conflict you feel.

In your journey through your incarnate existence, there would have been certain circumstances, disappointments, rejections, and other negative experiences that caused emotional wounds, and ultimately caused the kind of conditioning or programming we’ve been talking about. It doesn’t matter if the person who hurt you meant to hurt you, or if the disappointments were so many that they caused you to react negatively towards certain people, or even if it really was a negative situation—it depended solely on your interpretation of it.

Just for a moment, imagine a little girl whose father suddenly takes ill and dies. The child can’t understand why daddy isn’t there anymore and she feels totally abandoned, she wants her daddy.  We all know the event of a parent’s death is a natural occurrence, but at such a tender young age, it is interpreted as a very painful experience of abandonment. A child at such a young age doesn’t understand, even though they might know daddy has gone to heaven, and they tend to subconsciously blame the person who caused them pain. So, based on these subconscious decisions made from your childhood wounds, you grew up making certain choices to help you cope. You unconsciously developed emotional habits of response.

Now, this child whose father died, because of the programming in the subconscious mind, will probably attract men who abandon her, even though she may be an extremely beautiful young woman. Deep down is the belief that people she loves will abandon her, and that she will have to look after herself.

Eventually though, she does find someone who really loves her, so she marries. However, every time her husband wants her to open up, or he gets too close, that protective wall she put in place so long ago immediately sets a barrier between them. Unconsciously, she’s still protecting herself; she is still reacting to that little program in the subconscious mind that says “People who love me will leave me—don’t trust them.” Until she understands that and changes the program, she can’t have a healthy relationship with her husband.

Many of your choices and habits are formed to protect you at a different age. In the example above, that girl’s choices were protecting her. They were not meant to harm her or anybody else. They were used as a survival mechanism. If you find something like this happening in your own life today, look back into your own life and see where the hurts, the pain the abandonment, the rejection happened, and work towards clearing it so you make different life choices, and can move forward as a free and happy soul. Marriage is about finding the right partner—it’s about BEING the right partner.

 

 

How to Make a Relationship Work

Portugal (45)Think about it! Most of us were never taught how to communicate effectively with others, or how to ask for what we want. We usually ask for something else for fear of being thought selfish or greedy. How to make a relationship work? We were never taught that either. Love is not enough to make it work, we need to know how to make it work.

Most of us learned about relationships from watching how our parents interacted. If you grew up in a loving family atmosphere, you had a good start in life, but if you grew up in an unhealthy family environment, you would have learned unhealthy relationship habits. You probably would not want to have a relationship just like your parents, but don’t know how to go about forming a healthy relationship, or how to make it work.

You probably learned how to fight, how to hide our true feelings, how to have low self-esteem and so on. You were most likely confused by double messages, about one parent maybe playing the martyr, or one playing the bully. But it’s not your parent’s fault either, they would have learned from their parents and so on, it goes generation after generation.

In the days of our grandparents, love was an extravagance; an exception rather than the rule. On the odd occasion, of course, there was true love and it was a beautiful thing. Most married and had a family for many other reasons. The man worked to provide for the family, the woman stayed home and raised the children. There was little communication about love. Mostly, for the woman, love was a chore that had to be done. Some women even thought they could fall pregnant by being kissed. No wonder that today we have a lot of emotional cripples among us.

Lets hope we can learn enough about love and relationships so if ever our children are asked if they would want a relationship just like their parents, they would say, “Most definitely!”

When you were born, you came into the world with your previous memories washed clean, ready to start a new life with a clean slate; and it’s the interaction with your parents, teachers and peers that causes you to be conditioned emotionally.

Your emotional body is like a computer that has a program installed. When you hit a certain key, the program runs and responds in a certain way. When you press other keys, different responses happen. You have to change the programs you put in as a child if you want different responses as an adult  to learn how to make a relationship work.

Continued shortly.

Let go of Fear!

Screen Shot 2014-08-23 at 3.34.56 pmLets look at this—why do you get sick—many students of Metaphysics are wondering why it is sometimes that sickness still occurs to those who have been meditating for a long time. A lot of it deals with fear. Learn to let go of fear! It would be better to look at sickness or illness as an opportunity to clear old states of consciousness, or a purging that takes place to rid the body of impurities. This benefits not only yourself, but the overall planetary consciousness and helps everyone to move up a little higher in consciousness.

Most students don’t make a big deal about their problems; everyone has them and their prime purpose is for learning. We look into the area where the problem is occurring and this can give us a clue as to what is going on in our sphere of consciousness.

Take kidney complaints for example. Like some of the other organs arranged in pairs, kidneys represent something to do with partnerships. Usually we attract people into our lives who represent our shadow side; that is that side of ourselves that we have repressed or pushed down.  This happens as an opportunity for us to look at ourselves, and clear that repressed energy. Those traits we do not like in our partner or other close people are usually the very things we need to look at within ourselves.

The body is a marvelous expression of what is going on in the soul and what needs to be corrected at a deeper level.

Now energy will not be repressed, it must flow through. If we have an energy blockage, we soon find out about it in the form of a mental or emotional upset. If we refuse to deal with it at these levels, eventually it becomes a physical problem, and we are forced to deal with it because it becomes uncomfortable not to do so. If you have problems with your kidneys, it is a possibility that you project your inadequacies and/or your problems onto your partner or someone else close to you because you either can’t or don’t want to look at that which you have repressed. If your partner tries to help you look at these problems, and you are not ready to listen and block out that which you do not want to hear, you may end up having ear problems as well.

A lot of people are still experiencing fear and a fear of physical pain. Even after all the teachings about being a spiritual being inhabiting a physical body, we still have this fear. If you look at the things you fear, you would see that almost all of them are connected with the idea that you are just a body. If you were just a body, there would be many reasons to fear; but if you can see that you inhabit a body then many possibilities open up for you. Do not be just the body. Know that you are in the body and that you can help the body. Shift the pain by dispersing the energy.

When you become serious about meditation, and you are able to achieve a depth in your communication with your Higher Self, then all fear will be lifted from your mind. Just sit there and observe your fear or the effect your problem is having on your body, and immediately let go of fear.  Some very interesting things will happen if you do not get caught up in the emotion of what is going on but simply observe.  The more time you spend in this centre, the more the power of the centre will start to activate. The heart centre is where all fear fades and love is given a chance to grow. To love is to let go of fear.

 

 

Love at First Sight

canstockphoto16779684Our world is literally full of living energies that contain ideas and information. Some portray a more common impression, and we call these energies archetypes because they convey specific patterns of instinctual behaviour. These archetypes automatically project themselves outwardly from within each one of us onto whatever mirrors are available in our outer world, to reflect back to us what we need to look at. For example, the person who inspires ‘love at first sight,’ is acting as a mirror for unconscious forces tthat are living within them, and each draws the energies to itself, which fit at that level of development.

These energies are powered by the central sun in the solar plexus centre; they are indeed living, intelligent forces that have particular life functions and they influence the tapestry of our lives, sometimes colouring it with bright and dazzling colours, and at other times with dull and uninteresting colours.  They attach themselves, without our conscious aware­ness, to everything we touch or get close to in our world.

Attaching or projecting themselves onto living people, they have the power to influence the behavior of those people, and draw back onto themselves a corresponding projection. The illusion of evil is created by the repression of energy. Evil is unconsciousness. Those who are concerned about its prevalence in their lives might well attempt to seek the source of it within themselves. Evil results from ignorance of the way the laws of the universe work. We come to this conclusion by the words spoken to Peter by the Master when he rebuked him: ‘But he turned, and said unto Peter, “Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men”’. Sin is only separation from your God.

It is strange how everyone is encouraged to understand and believe through another’s experiences or dogma; few people are encouraged to embark on their own inner journeys (except if you meditate), to establish their own spiritual individualities. Few look within where this teacher actually exists, even though the Master suggested that this was the way to do it. Now, love at first sight or falling in love, as opposed to loving, and loving unconditionally, is probably the most prevalent form of accepted projection in human society. It is one way, through the magnetic attraction of the aura, that brings couples together to perpetuate the species.

When we experience love at first sight, we experience the other person mirroring back to us, the projection of some ideal archetypal part of ourselves. The archetype projects onto the loved one, a whole range of potential desires, and emotions that are all provided by the psychological expec­tations of the person projecting the archetype. So, falling in love is literally loving a part of yourself, which the projection process places on another person, and that person mirrors it back to you. If the loved one willingly receives and responds to it, then we say it was love at first sight.

If the loved one rejects the projection, then the other suffers the pain of unrequited love. Love at first sight makes demands on the loved one, be they willing or unwilling. When ‘love at first’ sight turns into ‘loving’ on the other hand, everything becomes free and giving; the relationship operates through loving kindness; it requires nothing in return, has no expectations, and accepts the other without judgment. True love wants only that which can be freely and unconditionally given out of the other’s self. The relationship where love at first sight turns into loving as the initial projection wanes, usually somewhere between six to eighteen months (or when the honeymoon period is over), are those that endure, expressing the greatest beauty, kindness, and compassion.

 

Take Time for Love

France (23)Spending quality time together is crucial to the development of any relationship; remember to take time for love. This time can also be spent with friends, just dining out together or with others, perhaps attending some sporting event together, or merely cuddling up together while watching a favorite movie at home.  The most important thing to remember is to spend some time together; take time for love. It is not so much the activity that is important, it is the fact that you are together, doing something that you both enjoy. Of course it is also important to have time to be in your own space. In today’s hectic world, most people lead very busy schedules so it can be difficult to allocate time for your partner, as well as all the other things that demand your attention, such as work, errands and shopping, your family, the home, as well as trying to fit in a social activity plus activities for the children if you have them. So, yes, finding time for your mate can be difficult; but did you take time for love when you were courting? Of course, you did! You made time then, and you can make time now. Just as you would schedule a meeting on your calendar, show some courtesy in the relationship by scheduling time to spend with each other, and no excuses unless you have some unexpected emergency.

When you fell in love, you probably didn’t want to stay apart. Falling in love, as opposed to loving, is one of the most prevalent forms of projection in human society. It is what makes the world go round.  It is nature’s way of bringing couples together to ensure the continuation of the species. When we “fall in love,” we experience the projection of some ideal archetypal part of ourselves onto another, who acts as a mirror, and plays the part out for us as the receiver for that ideal. The energy imposes on the receiver a range of behavioral patterns and emotional responses, all nourished by the psychological expec­tations of the person projecting the archetype.

So falling in love is being magnetically attracted to a person who has the parts that are resonant with an ideal archetypal part of ourselves. You have heard the expression, “like attracts like” so this is what is happening. It is really loving a part of yourself, which the projection process places on the another being who, if they are receptive, reciprocate, and mirror back to us that ideal, so then we have what we call, “the lovers.” The danger here of course is that they may start off as a perfect example of the Lovers portrayed on the Tarot trump number 6, but can quite easily degenerate into Tarot card number fifteen, the Devil, if you don’t take time for love.

To avoid this happening, the quality time you spend with your partner, showing kindness and compassion in all situations, will reap its own rewards.

Watch out for tomorrow’s post on ‘Personal Space Within Relationships’