Think about it! Most of us were never taught how to communicate effectively with others, or how to ask for what we want. We usually ask for something else for fear of being thought selfish or greedy. How to make a relationship work? We were never taught that either. Love is not enough to make it work, we need to know how to make it work.
Most of us learned about relationships from watching how our parents interacted. If you grew up in a loving family atmosphere, you had a good start in life, but if you grew up in an unhealthy family environment, you would have learned unhealthy relationship habits. You probably would not want to have a relationship just like your parents, but don’t know how to go about forming a healthy relationship, or how to make it work.
You probably learned how to fight, how to hide our true feelings, how to have low self-esteem and so on. You were most likely confused by double messages, about one parent maybe playing the martyr, or one playing the bully. But it’s not your parent’s fault either, they would have learned from their parents and so on, it goes generation after generation.
In the days of our grandparents, love was an extravagance; an exception rather than the rule. On the odd occasion, of course, there was true love and it was a beautiful thing. Most married and had a family for many other reasons. The man worked to provide for the family, the woman stayed home and raised the children. There was little communication about love. Mostly, for the woman, love was a chore that had to be done. Some women even thought they could fall pregnant by being kissed. No wonder that today we have a lot of emotional cripples among us.
Lets hope we can learn enough about love and relationships so if ever our children are asked if they would want a relationship just like their parents, they would say, “Most definitely!”
When you were born, you came into the world with your previous memories washed clean, ready to start a new life with a clean slate; and it’s the interaction with your parents, teachers and peers that causes you to be conditioned emotionally.
Your emotional body is like a computer that has a program installed. When you hit a certain key, the program runs and responds in a certain way. When you press other keys, different responses happen. You have to change the programs you put in as a child if you want different responses as an adult to learn how to make a relationship work.