We all know that when a child is hurt, it only takes a mother’s kiss on the sore spot to make it all better; a perfect example of the power of touch. The loving touch of a parent sitting by the child’s bed soon puts the child at ease, and accelerates the healing process.
It is the same for relationships. Some people do not like to touch, except in intimate circumstances. So you would need to be aware of this and respect the other person’s feelings. On the other hand, a lot of people need the touch of the loved one often. Sometimes there will need to be a compromise on this subject, and sometimes one person may need to ask to be touched if the partner is not aware of this need in the other person. I will be writing more extensively on this subject later. A soft kiss on the hand, or a gentle back rub often makes a huge difference in how your mate responds to you. When was the last time you walked up to your partner, and for no reason other than affection, gave them a gentle hug?
If you have not done this for a long time, it may seem strange to your partner, and he or she may think there is some ulterior motive behind it. But simply reassure them that this is not the case, and it is just a mark of affection because you appreciate them.
It would also be helpful to remember that emotions are something you do, not something that just happens to you. If that were the case, emotions would control you, and you would end up as some kind of unaware receptacle for whatever emotion decided to move through you. No other person can make you angry or sad or sick. It is the way you emotionally respond to the action of another person that causes you to say “You make me angry!” or “You hurt me!” The other person has done nothing except trigger a response from the energy patterns you are carrying inside. If there was no hurt inside you, the action could not provoke a hurt response, it would merely provoke a feeling of compassion.
So, when someone upsets you, the correct response should be:
1. Express your feelings, e.g. “I am feeling…………”
2. Don’t blame the other person just because they have pushed one
of your emotional buttons. They are acting as a mirror for you.
3. Take responsibility for your own feelings.
e.g. Not……….”You make me angry!” but “I get angry when………”
4. Give “I” messages instead of “You” messages to keep the relationship on even keel, then use the power of touch to soothe ruffled feathers.
This way you will experience emotional clearing along the way and have a better relationship as a result.